Recently, I’ve been hearing A LOT of ladies talking about getting newer tattoos but they don’t want them in the ordinary spots. Now, not for nothing, I don’t like tattoos on bodies of ladies who already have nice, smooth skin, but if they’re going to get tattoos, I’d pray that they don’t do the same lame tattoos in the same lame ass locations (ie butterfly, tribal tattoo, wannabe-abstract art on the lower back/mystery space, side of arm, back of neck, side of shin). Let’s face it, most ladies are not creative when it comes to these things and surely aren’t original with where they place them. Back in the days, no one would even dare put that on their asses, if their asses looked nice, knowing that it makes it look less beautiful. Today, many ladies want to ruin, nice, gorgeous asses, with horrible, meaningless tatoos. Ladies ran out of shit to do with themselves, in the new Millennium, so I’ll show you later where they get these Ass Tattoos ideas from.
So I overhear a chick talking about she got a tattoo ‘down below’. Immediately, I key in on it and she says that her man hates the tattoo she got. After listening to her cryptic conversation, apparently, she put a huge butterfly on her ASSCHEEK! So when she gets up to go to the bathroom, I’m trying to get a peak of that tattoo, and more importantly, her ASS! lol It was a long flat ass, PIGTAIL, sad to say, and some of the tattoo was visible, as she wore a jean skirt and a top that exposed her backside and muffin-top fat hanging out the sides. I wondered why she didn’t get something like most chicks with her build get, when they have long, pigtail butts with lots of mystery space :
That tattoo had to be a HUGE design if it’s also covered her ass because she had a long ass, to begin with, but part of the design wrapped around the mystery space/ lowerback. Trying to imagine it, I came up with something that looked like this:
except she was a bit chunky, so it looked more like this
So I can imagine what her man didn’t like. It’s already an unpleasant-looking ass, but to highlight it’s flatness by putting, basically, a BILLBOARD on that ass? when you’re hitting it from behind, the last thing you want to look at is the design on her ass the whole time! But I wondered, would it look as bad if she actually had a nice ass? hmmm does this look like less of a nice ass to you (because it has “BITCH” SCRIBBLED ON THE LEFT ASS CHEEK, AND “BOOTY” SCRIBBLED ON THE RIGHT? Told you chicks have shitty imaginations! lol).
Now, I’ve hit a chick that had a tattoo, but her ass tattoo did not overshadow her nice ass. In fact, it was a tiny heart on her ass, off of the top of her ass cheek, and it was not the focal point on her ass. I barely looked at it, and she knew that if she put something right ON the ass cheek, it would subtract from the appreciation of her ass when it was in a thong, on the beach. If you’re into admiring a nice ass, whatever YOU perceive that to be, which would you rather look at? This, like I’ve had:
ok she didn’t have an ass as huge as Cherokee here, good lord no! But still, it was tiny, compared to her ass, and it was just something out of the way, not all in the way!
This takes away from the beauty of the ass. Sorry, I can’t endorse ass tattoos! If you’re ass is a nasty, pasty, flat wall of an ass, fine, put a Times Square sized billboard on your flat ass, it actually helps with having to look at whatever the hell is your ass. But if you have a nice ass, please don’t litter! I know you think having letters on your ass is sexy, but just because the untrained eyes of MORONS see ‘JUICY’ written on the ass of your valor track suit, that does not mean it translates into the same shit when it’s permanently imprinted on your skin, ladies!!! Nor does that mean your ass is juicy either, fyi BAAAARRRFF!!! —>lol, so stop doing this–> , it’s tacky as all hell!!
I had a chick who had the WU-TANG symbol going into her ass cheeks, looking like a knock-off Mercedes Santos of porn fame. All I could think about was, ”the Rza, The Gza, Ispector Deck, UGod, Raekwan, Ghost Face killer …and the M.E.T.H.O.D. MAAAAAAANNNN Hey you get off my lawn” and I’d be laughing to myself. Then I’d imagine I was ODB boning her… Wtf ladies?? WU TANG???
Seriously, is ANYONE feeling ass tattoos?