The Origin of Ass: ASS PLAY Evolution

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! Let’s begin the new year with some Smart Ass talk…

(as usual, click a pic to expand it)

Sometimes, you really just wanna holla, nowadays.  You see/meet so many chicks today, and the closer you get to them, the more fake they’re becoming. You’re chilling, rubbing her legs and she’s attractive , then suddenly the leg pops off, weave pops off, eye lashes, eyes are a fake color…, like in I’M GONNA GET YOU SUCKA. cherry . Women and fake shit, to alter appearance, seem to be running parallel, for some reason. Obviously, not all women are into such fake shit, and don’t have such poor self image issues, but way too many are into changing their appearances, faking what they are to look like what they are not. We see the plastic surgery has sky rocketed and fake ass, tits, faces, noses… everything you can think of is just so fake today! There is a pill to make your eye lashes grow long- which human guinea pig Brook Shields signed up for, a pill to straighten your hair since you hate its curls, and even in Panama, a popular surgical procedure to color your eyes to light blue (aka Color Iris) if you wish- no need for contacts anymore. I can see the black women, with hate for their African features, lining up for all of this shit- in fact 1 almost went completely blind from the procedure! Actually, you might never need contacts again because you can’t fucking SEE anymore, after that crazy procedure. lol Women are just becoming way too fucking fake, for my taste. We’ve covered quite a deal of the fake shit, through the years, but something really annoyed me, recently, about a few chicks.. it was the low-budget faking attempt to fake a brother out, in particular, in the ass region. Homie don’t play that! So as you’re staring at the ass… she thinks it’s because you’re staring out of amazement, when really you’re just DISAPPOINTED that she too fell victim to the shenanigans of women and fake shit. She thinks you’re so dumb that you’re actually buying the tomfoolery and she pulled one over on you! How disrespectful and rude to a dude, right? I guess I wasn’t too upset with the tons of other fake shit they’ve been doing, until I saw the tricks to fake me out, in the BOOTY CATEGORY. That’s when a line was crossed. lol

To top if off, a buddy wants to launch a line of panties for women, I put him on to a few chicks to do some modeling of them, but he doesn’t want the ones I suggested. He wanted FLAT ASSED chicks. I was puzzled, and I had to look at the images of the panties he was suggesting, again. WTF??? I didn’t even pay close attention to the panty cuts, the panties faking has evolved seriously again, too! I didn’t see why he didn’t want the 3 ladies I gave him, until I really inspected what the panties were for. Here’s basically the affect he is after:
* Take the flat assed girl, preferably tanned in body, very tiny ass cheeks, if any, tiny ass crack.

* Put her in his type of Magic Panties designs

* BAMMMM!!   Get the effect ‘ASS OUT OF THIN AIR’!

So technically, the ladies I pointed him to, already had REAL ASS, he was looking for flat-assed chicks to transform into chicks with the type of asses I had proposed to him. WTF? From his perspective, you take a flat ass and put her in his panties/bikinis, she’s showing a lot of skin and she gets a 3-D booty- it’s a WIN-WIN scenario. My thinking is you’re fooling a bunch of people who are untrained to what is a good booty, while making a woman feel better about what she clearly doesn’t have but is faking like having, by fooling herself into thinking clothes can help her self esteem. Some of you dudes don’t understand what I just pointed out there, so I’ll break it down to you like this. How do you feel better about yourself, if you have a 3 inch dick, but you buy Magnum condoms made for 12 inch dicks, then proceed to brag that you wear Magnums, plus show them off in your wallet to chicks?  It’s basically this affect, that the guy is trying to sell, to ladies.  You’ll be laughed out of the bed, when she sees your real 3 inch killer, though, right?! So smart people avoid such embarrassment. It’s not anything new, in fact, 95% of products sold to women are to address their physical insecurities about themselves. My thinking is that now you’re trying to fool women into fooling themselves, into trying to fool men, that the particular panty wearer’s ass is really hot- it’s a LOSE-LOSE scenario- win for the business man, of course. Anyway, I don’t really know any model-class chicks with no ass, I don’t quite keep that company, so no one I knew was of any use to him. Even the ones with the smallest asses had too much ‘bump’ on the ass for him. They weren’t flat enough. lol

My buddy is on to something though, on high on something.  You know guys are turned on greatly by seeing women showing lots of skin (regardless of body form), doing daring pics, but guys are evolving and getting in on the tricks of ladies now, so they’re demanding more realism to what they’re seeing- especially guys who themselves work out or know what they want in a woman.  If you know how much it takes to maintain yourself, you expect to see the same effort being done by women on themselves, you do not want her to do what would be the equivalent of you putting on a MUSCLE MAN SUIT and parading around town as ’sexy’, right?   Guys are tired of seeing so much fake shit! Pretty soon, all women will be wearing Tranny-kits to try to be hot, which is essentially the direction women are heading in. Yes ladies,  you’re turning into TRANNIES trying to dupe people by dressing your own body to look more like ladies should! lol  All this is because, FINALLY, women who are bony and corny, are getting less and less attention, while women with some girth, in particular the midsection, are important- AGAIN. I say ‘again’, because like BattleStar Galactica’s line ‘this has all happened before, and will happen again’. We keep trying to come up with way to get this skinny, flat-assed chick back in the game of sexy.  We know it’s not hot, yet we keep trying new ways to fix what we clearly don’t want to see, flat assed chick.  So, today, like we’ve done many times before, we try to fool them and ourselves, with optical illusions/ mental delusions.


Back in the days: I got to thinking, how long has this ass foolery been happening?  I mean, they’ve been marketing to your booty not being HOT enough, millions of times before, so you have to dress up to fool yourself and others, right?  This is basic human psychological mess, and we know that just gets regurgitated over and over throughout the centuries.  We’re trying to make women’s bodies into what we want/make them feel better, instead of just going after the types we want in the first place and deserting what we don’t like.  We sell them fake security with our ‘inventions’ to enhance the bodies, especially in a sexual sense.  Obviously, this was started by men, but women wholeheartedly believed in and supported this stuff, but what did the designs of products really suggest? “I really wish I/my girl had a phat ass” lol  Seriously. Ultimately, this is what it comes to, and we try to course-correct the backsides/bodies of chicks.  The CHURCH set the tone for a lot of what we see today, with regards to emaciation by women, in particular white women.  They were made to feel ashamed if they ate too much. Prior to this, a woman of girth was always seen as a sign great possible fertility and health, all throughout the 1800’s.     Many paintings would feature fat women with hips, tits and ass most likely being chased by some white man. You remember that the HOTTENTOT VENUS Sara Baartman, was an African Khoi woman, with huge ass and thighs, being shown like a circus attraction in Europe.  Full girth was IN, or at least what was secretly wanted- although there wasn’t much to go around apparently!  Well the Church always felt that voluptuous women were a sin, and causes men to sin, because they were driving men wild!  So the Victorian Era came in, and sided with the Church’s view of a how a woman should be, but when they saw the church’s idea that full women were a sin, that’s where the two were completely separate in ideology of what a woman should LOOK LIKE.  With regards to a woman’s body, the church goers were conflicted by the new era, with people’s ideas, at the time, claiming  “you’re a fucking pig, appetite is shame! If you’re thick/plump at all, you should be ashamed of yourself and starve yourself into proper form”.  This contradiction of what’s a hot woman’s body, split ideas of what was best, skinny or thick.  The real target of hate for skinny bodies, was from the waist down. There were no asses or thick thighs or hips on these women! No one liked these chicks with no ass, but there were so many of them.  What was to be done about this tragedy?  Being skinny was a sign of malnutrition and poverty, to the rich, so high society shunned the skinny look!  So they were living in a contradiction, at the time, to offset their women being so skinny with no ass, TRICKERY had to be put in place! So what were they really after will all that crap the subjected women to wearing? They wanted a Phat Ass’d White Girl (aka PAWGS)! but white women weren’t genetically there yet.

Remember, the Victorian ages were from 1837-1901, so they DID still shape our current societies’ beliefs! Even though the church dominated many aspects of life, they were no match for society’s dreams of having a fat ass, or having a fat ass in bed with them!  WAY before Marilyn Monroe, there was the shapely actress Lillian Russell! All that pro-church nonsense couldn’t stop the adoration of her shape, especially here in America (yet America was the more Puritanical society lol), and she was the ‘it’ woman in the late 1800’s/early 1900’s Victorian era.  You know men, your mouth said one thing, but your dick was going to speak louder than that, and thus do something entirely different from your ‘beliefs’. lol It’s why former Presidents, racists and racist-rapists were attacking black, female slaves so much, all before and during that time.  Couldn’t get over that size that they longed for, but their women didn’t have.  Also Lillian Russel was  heavily using the popular ass-trickery at the time, to shape her fat up and even the score for herself.  Actually, this trickery wasn’t a ‘new’ practice, by this time, but the idea was that you wanted your skinny ass women to look more full (health belief), and your fat women to look more shapely (fashion belief), so you stuck her in a corset, petticoat, Tournure, Bustle, etc to try to accent or create hips, ass, and tits, where they didn’t exist, to fool onlookers- most importantly yourselves!  Women ALL OVER THE WORLD were wearing this stuff, from Americas to Europe to Asia!  You already know about the corset craze, but did you know about these OTHER items? Observe some of the less known trickery items, they were using to try to look ‘thick’:

A Bustle (or Tournure in France) was some contraption a woman put on to create a fake ass, hips. It was a cage like device to make a fake ‘thick’ frame for a woman, and you have to put a lot of crap under it to support it, so it wouldn’t hurt you either. .  It did bounce and sway a bit if Waltzing. Notice the little ‘bump’ that comes off the lower back, where this contraption begins!  Hmm trying to get that Apple Bottom bump I see. lol Women walked or danced around, and it BOUNCED ever so freely.  That turned men on, fake backsides that bounced.  lol:

many times that had a padding structure to also attach underneath, along with a bunch of other crap, to support the bustle on your ass, because i



Petticoats were like the panties of the old world, which you wore if you had a dress or skirt on, hung from the waist.  By 19th century, women wore them OUTSIDE of contraption like a Bustle.  You had to cover up your fake ass in style, you wore this:


Y’all laugh but remember the Granny from Tweety Bird cartoons? Her ass always bounced when she walked, well she was wearing one of these get-ups, complete with umbrella.

BUM ROLL - yeah you read that correctly, ”BUM ROLL”.  BUM, British slang for butt, and ROLL which it is. It was exactly that, a roll that you tied around your waist, that was thick in the back, which you put on your Mystery Space area, and that creates that jumpoff ‘bump’, we see on Apple Bottoms.  So understand something IMPORTANT here, knowing that white woman’s asses were so flat, which men obviously didn’t like, they introduced the bum roll for those who just wanted to quickly throw something under a Petticoat without the whole bustle cage stuff, which would make the ass poke out more. LOL  It was put under your petticoat/dress (Tudor era), in other times women wore it outside- made no sense to do this but whatever. lol Take a look at this (looks like an airplane neck cushion):

bum roll

Well, when the Victorian period was over, the ‘thick’ fad was dying, and the Brits ushered in the decline of the previously-popular ‘voluptuous women’ image, and guess what came from that fallout: EMACIATION AS A MEANS OF FASHION. That pretending to be thick stuff was out, it was time for white people to get back to reality, they felt, now it’s time to be bony. When you took all this crap off of a woman, you still were back to skinny ass you were not satisfied with! By the 1920’s the emaciation era began, flat chest, no hips, bony bodies with ribs poking out, were the ‘in’ thing, and ‘dieting’ aka emaciation, in this case, became popular.  At that time, the ‘Flapper Girls‘, the freakishly BOYISH hair-bobs and figures, women with no curves, who couldn’t fill out a dress, were in- and corsets were officially DEAD, and dead too were garters and stockings, as the bedroom delight lingerie at the time- replaced by chemises, bloomers,and bodices for the boy-body chick look.  But that Flapper chicks stuff played out too because not everyone wanted to fuck a boy in the butt.  So then back to liking full chicks in 60’s but not really, Brits put a stop to that too, officially, with their TWIGGY model sensation, bringing back that little boy looking women fetish- except with fewer clothes, and Americans joined right in.  Emaciation as fashion, was back in full effect and it cemented bony chicks as THE ‘in’ thing for white chick’s beauty since, thus establishing the European Standard of Beauty (skinny, white, blond, blue eyed) officially.  Then men everywhere dumped their fat chicks and wanted skinny chicks.  The thing about Twiggy was she modeled the ”HEY, IS SHE REALLY JUST A YOUNG BOY? I DON’T CARE, AT THIS POINT. I’M HARD AND I WANT THAT ASS” look, and white men around the world ate it up.  Ever since then, your grandfathers, your dads and eventually yourselves, wanted women with boy/girl-like bodies and body parts.  Loving a flat ass was back in to stay. This look was especially adored by gay men, who really own the fashion world, since it was a look of a BOY, and that’s who also controlled your sense of what made a woman’s booty hot, GAY MEN. Smile, flat-assed lovers- they fathered your style! :) and still set the trend today.   That style caused problems, because you know the trends, we like skinny, then full, then skinny, then full… and when the clothes came off.. the boy bodied chicks looked nasty.  We were seeing that the backside looked long, bony, the ass wasn’t plentiful, it ran right into the back of the legs. There was nothing to hold on to, but it also looked questionable in swimwear.  Well again, we had to fix these skinny chicks being the ‘it’ thing, we introduced a few new tricks to mask what we didn’t like in ladies’ lower regions, in the first place. Gone were the bustles, bumrolls, corsets but we had other ways to fool the minds.

So in the early 1900s, we made the 1’sies swim suit and grandma panties- we made the lingerie, to cover up the undesirable part of chicks’ backsides, mainly the large Mystery Spaces/lower backs on these chicks; however, we were back to focusing on what the corsets and bustles created, what made the Flapper Girls go out of style, something each was missing.  White men asked themselves “Where are all the white women with ass at?”  They tried to skim off more and more clothing from women, in search of something in all that flatness, to turn them on, to no avail.  By the 1980s, we had arrived at the height of sexual expression in fashion, advertisement, and beauty.  We arrived at the Bikini and the Thong, then the G-String being accepted officially.. we finally made it— errr but not quite- where is the booty meat at, to fill these things?  They weren’t ready for more size to the ass, but what they wanted was to cover up that unattractive look of the backside of most skinny chicks, which looks long and makes the ass look flat and long.  Men finally figured out what they don’t like about their skinny chicks they’ve praised so long, the long area of space right above the ass!  It made a skinny chick look like a frankfurter dog!  So rather than focus on women with more size, dudes went right back to the drawing board, to try to even the score for bony chicks, yet again. These guys were staring down these flat backsides wondering ‘how do we fix this area, above the ass, from revealing just how ugly her bony ass is?’ yet again.  So in the 80s, everything that had to do with that area right above the woman’s back, what we call “the Mystery Space“, was beginning to be addressed.  All of the jeans came with a HUGE section that pulled all the way up to a lady’s breast and rib cage! WTF? lol ON top of that, limited the pants so women with real ass and curves couldn’t find anything that fit properly- admittedly, you did NOT want to see your mom or grandmom in ‘bubble-gum’ jeans though! But look at what women were forced to wear, look at that high cut top to cover up those ugly Mystery Spaces, lower backs- all because flat ass chicks forced this because they were so many in numbers:

The problem spot was found, area above the ass, and lack of ass was the problem, and a solution could now be applied to swimwear and nightwear we saw our women in, but how do you fool the people into fooling themselves into thinking that the foolery is genuine? lol And how do we overcome the fact that we can’t just cover everything up anymore, these women are halfway naked now, the secret will be out?   Easy, back to optical illusions/delusions!  This is how we proceeded to pull the trickery off, on the people, once again:  We use a huge top of the panties/bikinis to cover up as much of that ugly space that we do not like, and if they have no ass, throw stupid lace/designs on it to distract the onlooker. Putting chicks in panties they have no business being in! (Like every chick in this slideshow click here and pics below):

We highlight the parts of the backside that we do like, by making special cuts in the panties to make the legs/ass look more full to the eyes:

as well as make panties that make a fake ass crack because she has no booty nor ass crack long/deep enough to make separate ass cheeks. Also those panties tend to make it look like there is so much ass in it that it’s pulling tight at the seams (oh brother I hate these):

So today, we ALL question like they did way back when, which brings us full circle: what the hell do we do with all these flat assed chicks? There is too much being invested to keep them in the game!

Years have passed and genetic code is enhancing itself, as the 98% of the DNA, which is not the active in giving genetic instructions, rather is the worker DNA that does the actions which ALTER and BUILD the features that the active 2% of DNA requests of it, has awaken, in MANY chicks today.  The 98% worker DNA, when told to ‘create a buttox’, has instead starting to create enhanced booties for the previously skinny, and we see so many PAWGS today, as the result. The process is natural, after so much time of NOT having the feature, it evolves to suit the environment.  With so much change, the old world order is beginning to show cracks, we’re all evolving. We keep trying to use old school tricks to even up the score for flat, no assed chicks, to level the playing field, to allow people who are not fit to survive, somehow stay afloat.  We keep trying to bail out these chicks who don’t have the features we want to see, by psyching ourselves out with trickery, then even have them believing what they’re doing is hot, and then we ditch them later, for what we really want- a chick with some ass and thighs! If you continue the faking, the evolutionary process can’t happen! Seriously, if all the women have big asses, well evolution says you men with small dicks will grow bigger dicks, to match being able to bone these chicks with big asses! See, there’s a big dick in it for you- uh hopefully you took that the right way. lol But nope, we don’t listen… what do we do instead?  We go ahead and create ways to alter their appearances, into something we like, or we throw a bone to women we don’t like, to try to even the playing fields.  Women never do that for men!  They don’t overlook mens’ physical shortcomings ever! It’s the flashiest, wealthiest, seemingly toughest, who gets the woman- survival of the fittest- it’s not about compassion for your story if you’re not up to snuff.  Natural Selection, evolve greater or get no poon! That’s how women work, we need to work the same way! If you’re worthy, you’ll get all the attention you need, we don’t have to play to their handicaps anymore.

Come on now, all kinds of chicks are growing ass now!  Time to be selective now, it’s your nature.  You see flat assed chicks with skimpy swimwear,  then you see that same bikini on a chick with body like your Kardashian girl,  which, of the two women, are your eyes going to gravitate towards? If you saw these 2 women drowning in the ocean, but could only save one (who’d be in love with you forever for being her hero) which one do you think you’re more likely to save?  Not the chicks with no ass- ‘oh.. she dead!‘  Natural Selection! It’s about time to let the undesirables drown, no more throwing life vests! Survival of the fittest, sink or swim chick.  It’s the evolution of ass!


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  1. AuroraE95 says

    lololol i see alot of that last one

  2. CrushedGirl says

    Your site made me cry. I’m a skinny white girl I have almost no ass, my boyfriend left this page open and now I feel terrible about myself. Also no one even thinks of models as sexy… They are fucking coat hangers thats why they look like that so it doesn’t distract from the clothes, anyone who’s been around real people and has no ass knows no one thinks you are hot, tit’s don’t mean anything if you ani’t got that swing. Guys never overlook that fact, they gotta tell me how I don’t have an ass like I wasn’t fucking aware. All of you men need to stop being so fucking mean!

  3. odoggz says

    Sorry to hear you don’t feel you’re hot, but let us remind you, that if you are actually worth something, in life, your whole world does not cave in because of a few unknown people, commenting on booty! Seriously, if your world collapsed because of our commentary, which is not aimed at you personally, I don’t think you can blame us for your issues. It’s just BOOTY! No one is talking about a dull personality, lack of cooking skills, lack of social skills, lack of earning potential, etc… just booty, so you shouldn’t be so destroyed. And don’t blame MEN for you not being hot. I’m sure you don’t like fat men, or “little people” or dudes in wheelchairs with jheri curls and dookie ropes, but they exist, and you don’t consider them desirable, do you? We all have likes, wants and preferences, and if you are not hitting with us, well I’m sure some other site has a feature you have, that they celebrate. Here, we celebrate booty, and booty aspiring to be better, and it makes more people happy, than sad- and we can live with that. :)

  4. [...] with Blacks, in the minds of everyone, and at that point, THICK was considered a Black thang. Eventually, whites tried to steal that too, by faking. lol Before the Hottentot Venus, white fashions were built around faking like the asses [...]

  5. TwisztedAngel says

    Omg lol the tweety bird grandma had me rolling.. I honestly didn’t know they wore that stuff back then for that reason.. @ Crushed Girl anybody can have a big ass through weight training. I just hate how so many skinny girls trying to get this super thick look and over eating because everyone is different and me for example my body can only carry so much weight before it looks terrible. If your not blessed with big hips, you can’t go from kelly Rowland to Beyonce hips no matter what you eat.

    I used to be into that thick mess…but I think as long as you have curves and in good shape you can be sexy at any size..

    Over here it seems like men want curves so they would rather take an overweight chick than a skinny ruler chick but you have to love what you do have and stop pickin at the petty crap you don’t cuz I guarantee you, somebody wishing they had what you got=)