(Reader: if your internet is not that fast and this loads slowly, just click a TITLE of a piece to jump right to the piece. Example: click the link ‘BOOTY I LIKE: METHOD TO THE MADNESS’ above these words, and it will load ONLY that piece, which is much faster)
(as usual, click any pic in blog to get a bigger view)
We get a lot of questions, from the community about what exactly we use for criteria to judge a booty for how nice it is. Considering that the community spans a diverse set of backgrounds and geographical regions, it is hard to come up with 1 booty that pleases all people. This is true even for the breast loving community, as some like huge ones, small ones, fake ones, etc. At least we knew what exactly we didn’t like about certain butts and could articulate our points so that others could relate to what we were each seeing. With time, we started meshing what kinds of booties we liked, and soon many of us started liking a whole array of booties- unlike many booty lovers. Most booty lovers like 1 kind of butt and only 1 kind of booty. You can’t tell them a thing about any other type of butt. That’s cool, they know what they like, but this community strives to want more than that, we like a variety of ass, but oftentimes, our likes in booty are misunderstood and we seem like the types whom only like 1 type. We get various hate messages talking about we hate fat women, or we hate skinny women, we hate dark women BLAH BLAH BLAH. All rubbish! Today we’ll attempt to show you what we are looking at and see, versus what you might see (and therefore question). Hopefully we can bring clarity to what you’re looking at, as we appreciate booty and show you BOOTY I LIKE: the method to the madness.
Many in the ASSMATRIX.COM community are looking at certain asses and are unable to tell (for themselves) whether or not they like the asses they’re looking at, thus are unable to tell you WHY they like, or don’t like, the asses they’re looking at. You might say that’s ‘odd’ but it’s not, when you consider the ass region’s importance our cultures today. Most times, you’re being tricked into thinking an ass is nice because the photographer put a special outfit on a chick, bent her a special angle, put oil on her to create a SHINE effect that makes her look more round, jeans with round fade marks, etc. ASSMATRIX.COM has given you a number of tools to see through the crap that’s out there, but the physics of certain asses tends to stump a lot of people when seen up close. See, when you finally SEE a booty without all the tricks done to it and without the constricting clothes to make it more round, and without the hiding of bad parts of the booty, not in jeans or boyshorts, MANY PEOPLE ARE LOST WHEN TRYING TO DECIDE IF THEY LIKE AN ASS OR NOT! The brain can’t process the booty. This is because most asses do not look as wholesome as they do nude, or in thong, as they do when in shape-forming clothing. Same issue faced by the Tit community in that tits look great propped up in bras but when you see many of them without the bras, they look horrible!!! Same thing happens to ass after fantasizing about it tied up in jeans, then seeing it bare you lose bearings. You could understand how they’d not know what they were looking at, at that point, unless it’s the extremely cartoonish ass that is huge even with the clothes off (but still not as tight as appeared). So some in the community think we only like that extreme ass. That’s not true at all. We’ve shown lover for a wide array of booty, unfortunately, your brains aren’t processing anything but the bigger booties we’ve displayed. Also, when we shoot down a ‘booty model’ it’s not because she doesn’t have a huge ass, it’s because she’s not worth the praise she’s getting for marketing using her ass. Still, we apply the philosophy we’re sharing in this piece to the decisions we reach.
This has lead to many sending us small ass pics to rate and asking if smaller ass is not considered nice since we have many ‘ethnic’ people posting up for ASSMATRIX.COM. Many start letters with ‘you people must be black because you like only huge asses’. No lie this is how MOST emails to us begin. For those readers, I’ll tell you that we have self proclaimed ‘red necks’, Asians, Israelis, Indigenous Americans (from north to south), Afghans, etc who like HUGE butt, and even small butt, but enjoy the many ranges of sizes! You don’t have to be BLACK to like good booty! Just thought I’d put that out there. But many of those writers complain about the bigger ass mostly (sending me links and videos), some times rightfully so, but they’re just like the crowd who only like big ass and complain about small ass! We don’t judge like that and a nice ass (female ass that is) is a nice ass, no matter the size, no matter the race/ethnicity. If it looks like a nice bubble or shapely piece of meat, it can still be appreciated at all classes of booty. So because we like a lot of types of booty with form, it’s lead some people to wonder if we have a prejudice against certain types of other booties. Naturally, we do, asses that don’t look like asses don’t get paid attention to!!! True, we don’t show much love for the HUGE, OBESE BBW ass or the non-existent ass, but if it doesn’t look like an ass or the shape of the body murders the view of the ass, we’re not going to speak up for it. There are niche markets for that, just not our thing- need an explanation? keep reading). So some people claim bias for that and others are lead to ask us for better understanding of our selection of booty we like (thus the title of the featured presentation). We go back and forth with many people about what they call FLAT that we don’t really see as flat, or what we say is too sloppy others say is the most beautiful, thick, ass they’ve ever seen. The going back and forth has caused some to Scream Bloody Murder- but others simply ask for clarity. For instance, the community has been writing emails asking things like ‘does the color of an ass make a difference when you guys determine how good it is?’ ‘Does the height of a woman determine how nice or not nice the ass is?’ ‘Does how hard or soft an ass is determine how nice it is?’ or ‘Does the pure size of an ass determine how much better it is than another?’ All of these are relevant questions and do play important roles in PERSONAL PREFERENCES with asses, but as general rules, here are things that we look at when determining how HOT or NOT an ass is (besides the usual lessons listed on ASSMATRIX.COM):
1) Know what you are looking at. What’s the real ass in the view?
Without the clothes on, you might not know what you’re looking at. Often, the area on top of the ass is that despised Mystery-Space disguised, and not actual butt meat. That can pose a problem because it can fake you OUT making you think you are looking at a completely round ass- photographers turn a lady to the side so you can’t see where her ass crack really begins! This normally happens when they want to make an ass look at least like a Tear Drop, when it’s a Pig Tail or just Flat. So they angle the top of the ass to trick you. They also bury the ass crack under the back piece of the panty/bikini,etc but if someone really doesn’t have an ass, the thong or bikini can’t disappear in an ass crack that doesn’t exist. If there is no ass crack depth, how much of the backside must really be actual ass? Keep a sharp eye and no matter what the photographer of the image, the poser in clothes tries, you can spot it in clothes or just with her bending over try to create ass, except it’s painfully obvious the top of the ass is flat if you know what you’re looking at! Observe:
(top of ass flat, Pig Tail class but trying to make it look more round overall. The panty cut doesn’t DISAPPEAR into the ass, thus not much ass cheek on this woman. All the arching in the world can’t hide that)
(The Notorious P.I.G. Andressa Soares has a Pig Tail, which with smaller sized thighs doesn’t look as bad as it does now with her huge brickhouse thighs. Still no curvature before the ass. It just goes flat on top, no bump what so ever. This picture says ‘hey, look at my long back/Mystery Space with a Tat on it. )
So what we do is identify what we’re really seeing, vs what we’re being shown? Just like those two shots above, the Mystery Space causes confusion to viewers because it throws off where the ass begins. So we take that into account too. With many ethnic tastes out there, you can’t escape having to address backsides with the dreaded Mystery Space, so you have to make the most out of the situation. So to be fair to those with too much of that, we share a general method used to qualify any ass, regardless of the Mystery Space/ Frankfurter-Dog back or huge size. It’s based on a ratio of the total space of the backside that the ass crack/cheeks occupy. You must split the backside into 2 parts, 1 being the Mystery Space/lower back and the other being the ass crack (which separates the actual ass cheeks to form the butt). If a woman has a very long Mystery Space, and it accounts for 80% of her backside, leaving 20% for ass crack, that’s an UGLY ass! I don’t care what you try to pull off, that is not a good sight! So minimal Mystery Space leads to a better butt, but if a chick is not a Tear Drop, or Apple Bottom, the cheeks themselves have to be ON POINT to please all viewers! Meaning, nicely tones or rounded can save a chick with too much Mystery Space- whom most likely have Flat to Pig Tail butts. Many love that in a smaller frame with a larger Mystery Space and smaller actual ass area! They like that flat ass with no tone or plumpness to it, just a back that runs right into the leg and confuse that for a Vida Guerra ass. No lie! Using the criteria that we do to qualify an ass, this ass below does NOT even come up on our radar, but lights up for flat ass and petite body lovers:
Just because it’s a small ass does not make it a bad ass. That’s a big mistake when judging asses. You can’t write it off because it’s small, write it off because it’s an uneventful ass and unfortunately you really don’t know where that ass begins and ends! Let’s be fair it doesn’t have to be cartoonishly big, just has to do something worth looking at. A TAN LINE and EXPOSED SKIN IN BIKINI doesn’t have anything to do with how nice the ass is, which is why that ass is corny! ASSMATRIX.COM has always tried to illustrate our points of view so let’s try to identify good versus bad ass with a few illustrations. The Mystery Space/lower back region we’ll represent in the video with label ‘BEFORE ASS’ which is the area before the ass begins or the area immediately outside of the ‘ACTUAL ASS’- neither should be confused with the actual ass cheeks themselves for they are not BOOTY meat! Observe a nice, little butt example:
She has a barely existing Mystery Space and tight, toned cheeks. Many think that’s a flat butt, but there is adequate action in the butt cheek area. So trying to keep an open mind, let’s observe a few slight differences:
Conversely, just because you have a 20% area Mystery Space/Lower Back with 80% of the backside being ass crack, that doesn’t necessarily mean you have the best ass either! You could have that nasty KELLY DIVINE DROOPY ASS or huge Godzilla sloppy ghetto booty!!!.
At this point we must add 1 more qualifier as we move into ass with more girth or length- shape of the actual ass cheeks. In that section of the ass dedicated to the ass cheeks’ girth (ACTUAL ASS), there needs to be some ‘action’ happening with those ass cheeks! What are we seeing? No one wants to see corny looking ass shapes. The cheeks should be round or sloped nicely to a bulb, from point A to point B, and the ass shouldn’t take on complex shapes of geometry! This rule applies to big asses and smaller asses equally. What do we mean? Here is an example of smaller ass that isn’t ghetto booty class, but you can see the ass lost its way and is just not round and smooth like you thought (yet they had a longer ass crack than Mystery Space). Instead of being round from point A to point B, the ass angles in 3 different directions to present it’s curvature!? You’ve the Mystery Space ending where the ass begins, and since there is no muscle on the top of the ass, nor solid fat, the ass angles downward and INWARD to create something you mistake for a round ass often, yet this ass is really long and not even a Tear Drop (see video coming up). The appearance of a DENT can be seen where the Mystery Space ends and really, the top of the ass dangling from the tail bone! Mind you, YOU GUYS are out there paying for this LAME ASS!!
Which brings us to the other valuable point:
2) Know that SIZE doesn’t matter, shape does!:
As you saw in the video example above, lack of muscle/fat structure on top of the ass leads to an unpredictable, dangling, ugly looking ass. These were smaller asses but you can spot this on bigger asses too, it’s just not as evident. Unfortunately, for the large ass loving community, lines have become blurred and this is the most controversial class of ass. While the sloppy looking ass is not preferred in the smaller booty loving crowd, the bigger ass loving crowd doesn’t mind all the twists and turns that the asses make on their beloved ‘extreme ghetto booties’. For many big booty lovers, shape means nothing, only size and this is a problem, in my opinion, because now every chick with a fat back and butt thinks she’s a booty queen. The plump Pig Tails and Ghetto Booties are all welcomed with wide arms in many urban communities, but to many on the outside, that ghetto booty/Pig Tail (without real form) that you like so much, look like this to everyone else They call that ‘GRANDMA’S ASS!’, in over 30 countries, because it’s falling down, is wide and needs support garments to look presentable. So if you don’t care about the shape of the ass, really anything huge, regardless of shoulder width, back width, legs fighting each other for space, none of that matters as long as there is a lot of fat on her ass.
We don’t agree with that thought process. I mean that’s cool if you are into boning Grandmothers (most huge, sloppy-ass sites feature women over 40+ – that’s years of age, not waist size). There has to be some sort of order. Bigger is not better. I’m here to tell you that shit needs to stop because it’s NOT working and we need to recognize the Ghetto Blaster ass (good ghetto booty) vs the regular sloppy ghetto booty.
People are not stopping to admire a huge NASTY ass that is all over the place all in the pants, however they will stop and stare at a huge ass that has some incredible cartoonishly-round shape to it (regardless of some cellulite collection). The problem with this is one booty is ghetto booty that’s the sloppy kind, and the other is the Bria Myles huge Ghetto Blaster aka Ghetto Booty Elite kind of ass, which most of us love. Women and men have gotten these asses twisted with the chicks that have backsides that look like banged up Yugo (mostly from dudes gassing up fat chicks after the club lets out or needing quick ass in the middle of the night so you tell them they’re thick and hot). So every women with huge amounts of fat on their backsides think they have a Maliah Michel, Olivia Watts, AbsoluteAmber, Eliz Cruz or Naughty Neshelle ass? Ju buggin, mengk! Just like a toned, smaller butt is not a flat butt, a well-rounded Ghetto Booty is not a sloppy one! So going back to the criteria we use to judge a booty, smaller or bigger, we apply it to larger butts:
Come on now! Let’s be logical here and call it what it is. You can like BBW/ Be a BBW, as are these good ghetto booty women mentioned, but if your gut and butt aren’t in check, like these models, you can’t really claim to be on their level. There is a reason dudes are going ill over these asses, because these asses/ waistlines are OUTRAGEOUS. That other shit is just large and massive but without shape and direction. This is in no way saying you can’t like what you like, but just like people are blurring the lines of THICK and MORBIDLY OBESE, we can’t let you put most BBW on the levels of our Ghetto Booty Queens. Just can’t! They are NOT the same so please stop trying to make the worst look a lot better.
So do yourself a favor, when peeping an ass, know what you’re looking at and get off of the size matters kick. You need to see what is actual ass meat and rate from there, regardless of size. Yes we have personal preferences, that’s normal, yes we can love BBW chicks and still appreciate smaller and can appreciate smaller without hating the BBW crowd- although some need to remove the middle “B” from that acronym when referring them themselves! We can not, however, mistake the extremely sloppy or extremely flat for good asses. We are open to the different types of ass, but we do have limits! Bone flat or house big asses uhhggh it’s just not acceptable because at the point, the ass doesn’t even LOOK like ass anymore. I hope that we can successfully cross-promote good ass, maybe meet somewhere in the middle, and also I hope we don’t alienate some of our regular asses that aren’t as cartoonish as the showy, perfectly sculpted pay-ass. Some regular girls’ asses are nice asses by our 2 general standards outlined in this piece and could help you rate any size ass, as we’ve shown. Just because a chick doesn’t have Photoshop to even skin tones and erase impurities in her pics- or to make her ass bigger as many models are doing with Photoshop now- that doesn’t make her ass terrible either, by default. As long as it’s an ass that has ‘action’ happening in the ass cheek region, it’s all good with us. If not, we nah rate that!