AssMatrix: Reloaded

You ever wish you had the most high def camera, but have it be so small that no one can see- you know, for those ‘precious’ moments where you didn’t want to be completely obvious? Well so do we, but we had to settle with grainy vid from a tiny Panasonic Dnap, instead. Whatever you’re doing, here are Assmatrix.com tips for filming:

1) Newbies should start small. Get a smaller cam with a MAX resolution of 640×480 video- then upload to youtube at 480×360. You still retain as much quality/perspective even if the cam is not the best. I used to use a DSNAP, then had a FLIP. If you have not purchased a cam and have $400 bucks laying around, a new Sony/Panasonic/Jvc that fits in your hand like a cup (Hard drive based) is what I recommend. I moved to a cheap but smaller Sony cam, for light traveling easy deployment) that fits in most hands like a small cup. Pro cams scare people.Some build contraptions to put the cam in, no need. Think small.

2) Leave the lense exposed for ready shooting (when you see what you like) and most times, DO NOT STOP THE RECORDING JUST BECAUSE YOU POINTED THE CAMERA DOWN TO AVOID DETECTION. Let it roll, and when ready then you just point again. You can edit the video later! It’s video, not a photo.

3) Don’t use the view finder don’t use the lcd panel! Everyone is looking for you to do both and everyone is looking at your shit when you do both, which indicates you’re recording when you are looking at your cam. Master recording without the LCD going. This takes skill, depending on your camera shape and your body, but I can make many tight space recordings without opening the lcd. People don’t think you can record and not have the lcd going. You need body language to accompany this to not look like you’re checking the cam every 3 seconds. That raises suspicion. Look somewhere else, and STEADY your cam by guessing the angle you’re shooting. Practice this at home, make a dot on a paper, put it on a wall at ass level. Then try to pan by and record or walk close and record. See how OFF you are.

4) Don’t go for head shots, avoid annoying women. If you’re caught, women get upset. If she sees her face can’t possibly be in the video (given the angle of your cam), she’s much more likely to blow up on you, and in most cases want attention and keep shaking it or posing. lol So yes, I will walk right up on a chick and let her know her ass is on point if I feel she’s an attention whore. Faces make it personal, body parts only means that can’t be traced back to her. She won’t mind.

I cheat a little, not to toot my own horn but I’m a handsome guy and if I do get caught they normally “perform” anyway. No lie. Give a ‘dummy’ smile like you can’t believe what you’re seeing and you love it. Not coming off creepy is disarming and you might even get a number out of it. lol

Still, we get the footage! Yes, we did these and many more. But the Dsnap died… so RIP good tech buddy, you’ve entertained the internet for many years!